Ways to Annoy the Twilight Characters
by sugarhigh123
Summary: Ways to annoy and piss off the Twilight Characters. I know that everyone does these, but I like them so I decided to make it. This one is much more original than the other stories like this out there!
1. Sam

I know, I know

**I know, I know. Everyone makes lists like these. But I was running out of story ideas, and some I haven't finished yet. Here is the 1****st**** list, Enjoy!**

11 ways to Annoy Sam

1. Ask him how Leah's doing…

2. In front of Emily.

3. Tell him Emily cheated on him…

4. with Jacob…

5. And that his last resort, Leah, already moved on…

6. with Embry.

7. Ask him for advice about choosing between two people you love.

8. Ask him why he broke up with Leah

9. Tell him that he and Leah would make such a cute couple.

10. Throw a ball and tell him to fetch.

11. Ask him how Emily got those scars.

**Next one is Edward!**


	2. Edward

12 Ways to Annoy Edward

12 Ways to Annoy Edward

1. Tell him Bella cheated on him…

2. with Mike.

3. Tell him Jacob imprinted on him.

4. Ask him how long he's been a virgin.

5. Ask him how old he was when he got his first kiss.

6. Tell him Bella tried to kill herself…

7. And succeeded.

8. Carry garlic in your pockets.

9. Tell him about your love and obsession for dogs.

10. Say that you are team Jacob.

11. Tell him real men don't sparkle.

12: Tell him that you may have accidentally sort of kind of in a way changed Bella into a vampire.

**After this we've got Jacob!**

**P.S. review please!**


	3. jacob

Just so you don't get confused, this is written pre-breaking dawn

**Just so you don't get confused, this is written pre-breaking dawn. Enjoy!**

14 Ways to Annoy Jacob

1. Ask him if he imprinted on Bella yet.

2. Light his car on fire after throwing gasoline on it.

3. Kill Billy…

4. and Bella.

5. Record Bella and Edward's wedding night…

6. And give him the tape.

7. Tell him Native Americans suck.

8. Tell him you are allergic to dogs.

9. Tell him about Edward going to her room every night.

10. Ask him if he's going to the wedding.

11. Tell him Edward killed Sam…

12. And Bella's okay with it…

13. And he needs to be the new pack leader…

14. And if he doesn't accept we'll kill Bella.

**Bella after this!**


	4. bella

Again, this is post eclipse, pre breaking dawn…

**Again, this is post eclipse, pre breaking dawn…**

13 Ways to annoy Bella

1. Tell her Edward has left her…

2. for Jacob.

3. Tell her Mike's a vampire…

4. And he is planning to drink her blood…

5. And killing Edward.

6. Ask her if she's heard from Jacob lately.

7. Tell her Edward was killed…

8. by Jacob…

9. And he regrets nothing.

10. Tell her the Volturi finally came.

11. Tell her that her car died…

12. Thanks to Mike.

13. Tell her Charlie died.

**After this is Charlie!**


	5. Charlie

11 ways to annoy Charlie

11 ways to annoy Charlie

1. Tell him Bella's pregnant.

2. Tell him Edward is a vampire…

3. And that he was originally going to kill Bella.

4. Tell him Billy died…

5. Because of Edward…

6. and the other Cullens.

7. Tell him Edward can read his mind.

8. Tell him you know what he did last summer.

9. Ask him why Renee left.

10. Tell him Renee wants to kill Charlie.

11. Tell him that Edward goes into Bella's room every night doing things he definitely wouldn't approve of.

**Mike is next!!**


	6. Mike

11 ways to annoy Mike

**11 ways to annoy Mike**

1. Tell him Edward and Bella are getting married…

2. And it's because he wasn't more persistent on getting Bella…

3. And he's not invited to the wedding.

4. Tell him that Bella hates him.

5. Tell him that his parents don't love him…

6. And they never did.

7. Tell him Tyler's in love with him.

8. Ask him who Bella's lab partner is.

9. Tell him that Jessica is going to kill him in his sleep.

10. Steal his hair gel.

11. Make him read chapter 2 of my story "Note passing: the sequel".

**Sorry this list is so much worse than the others. Not sure who else I should make a list about, any suggestions? I would do Alice, but I don't wanna do all those gay ones like "cut up her credit cards" and stuff. Its not funny and its gotten old. So I need ideas of who to do. (that's what she said! Sorry I'm trying to use that joke as much as possible…)**


	7. Rosalie

**11 Ways to annoy Rosalie**

1. Give her a Baby Born doll for Christmas.

2. Bring her over to your pool to show her a mirror taped to the bottom. **(Breaking Dawn ref :D)**

3. Ask her what happened to her that made her become a vampire.

4. Make a lot of jokes about rape.

5. Tell her about all the wonderful qualities of your children.

6. Switch her shampoo with honey.

7. When you see her, scream, "LOOK, MOMMY! IT'S BARBIE! SHE'S LIFESIZE NOW, _AND_ SHE HAS A BITE MARK ON HER NECK!"

8. Tell her about a friend you have, named Royce.

9. Kill Emmett.

10. Eat Emmett.

11. Take a piece of her between your fingers and say, "Wow… Rosalie… you uh… got a lot of split ends here…"

**Not as good as the other ones, probably because it's a little bit too much like the other lists. Well, lemme know if you like it. I'm thinking about maybe doing Emmett next…? Or Jasper, yeah Jasper…**


	8. Jasper

**16 Ways to Annoy Jasper**

1. Show him all of the creepy fanfics where he and Bella do it… and by "it", I mean throw Alice a party! You can get rid of that last part, actually, if you want. Whatever pisses him off more.

2. Eat Alice.

3. Step on Alice.

4. Die his hair black and give him side bangs.

5. Put eyeliner on him. Buckets of it.

6. Tell him that it's okay to "let it out".

7. Ask him out…

8. And when he tells you he's with Alice, gasp and say, "I always thought you were gay!"

9. Draw fake blood across your arm and show it to him.

10. Tell him that cutting the pain away isn't always the best option.

11. Show him the bloodiest and goriest movie in your DVD collection. (Unless you only have, like, two DVDs. That won't work.)

12. Every time you walk past him, say "pansy". Cover it up with a cough…

13. "Faggot" works too. As does "Tinkerbell".

14. Buy him a box of tissues.

15. Paint his nails black.

16. Tell him that it's time to "come out of the closet" sooner or later, and that no matter what, you'll always love him.

**Ugh. I'm feeling so uncreative today, but I feel like writing. Weird… Not sure who to do next, but maybe Alice… any ideas?**


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